We are days away from a brand new year— and while most people are already making plans for 2023, I like to take a look back on what I learned this past year. So, grab a snack and get cozy for my 2022 Reflection.
Pillow talk, shall we?
(Disclaimer “cuz the internet”: please don’t be a goofball- this is just what I learned. I’m not suggesting these are worldwide truths or that you’re a terrible human or that you need these revelations in your own life- I’m just here to reflect personally. Take it or leave it! )
It all started when I decided to take some time off Instagram.
Oooowie. It. was. Wonderful.
(Side note: If you have a nudge to take a break- DO IT. I used the excuse of having a business to prevent me from doing it for so long- but let me tell you. Nothing- no clients, no amount of money- is worth the peace and clarity that comes with a sound mind. )
It was in December of 2021 that I decided I needed to detox from social media.
I was humbled majorly when I realized how often my kids look up at me and I’m looking down at my phone.
Even if I’m doing something “good”, they don’t know that.
They just see me not seeing them.
So, I put some THICK boundaries on my screen time. The bad habits broke and my brain felt cleaner, lighter- better.
10/10 recommend.
Because I was feeling better, I realized how often the internet (IG, FB, even google) had my mind. Scrolling is one thing, but the after-effects of a scroll are SNEAKY. I could be physically in the room with the kids, they might even have my eyes— but mentally I could be mad, sad, or stressed about something I saw.
For me and my house- this is not ok.
I can’t do ANYTHING well if my mind is always somewhere else.
This led me to take MORE time off social media and ultimately be available (in mind, body, and spirit) for the next part.
Nextly,
My New Year’s resolution was to lean into my femininity. I tend to be tough and rough and high energy and I felt a nudging that suggested I let myself expand into the parts I’d always felt were inconvenient or “pointless”.
My goal going into the new year was to lean into my femininity. I bought dresses and nail polish and God was like-
“HAH. No honey”.
I thought I was being nudged to “DO” stuff to be feminine— but It was actually God handing me the program for the year.
And lemme tell ya-
Your boy took me on a RIDE.
I had nothing to do with it, but here is what I learned so far:
2022 Reflection:
Culture.
Women create the culture. In our communities and in our neighborhoods. In our homes and in our families. If I am numb or distracted, the people around me suffer. I must start in my home before I can be successful in communities, businesses, or the world.
Establishing my Home.
My home is where I serve most importantly. It’s not an inconvenience to the business I’m building. It’s not something I have to work around to try to achieve my goals- it’s THE thing. And if I need to take things off my plate to serve here WELL- so be it. My home and the values + habits that I design are what my most favorite humans will be built out of. That MUST be intentional. It must be done well. And it must be a high priority.
Modeling.
Raising my boys humbles me daily. I’m the woman in their life. It’s my job to model and demonstrate who a woman is, how she should be treated, and how she should be cared for. It’s also my job to help them to recognize that my God-given strengths are different than theirs- and that’s by design. And It’s my job to lean into that, celebrate it, and let the fullness of the expression of God flow through me exactly as I was created.
Rest.
I learned how to rest. God literally taught me how to take naps. Haha!
but also I learned to rest mentally and emotionally and spiritually. I learned when I’m operating at half capacity- instead of cracking the whip over myself and forcing more- I can take a step back, rest, and try again when I’ve refilled.
Beauty.
I’ve always been a “well if there’s no “point” then don’t bother.” And “If something’s pretty but doesn’t serve a purpose then it’s not important”— WRONG.
Who knew that recognizing beauty for beauty’s sake would be such a game-changer?! Beautiful things are all throughout nature JUST because they’re beautiful- not because that makes them more effective in the world. It’s not silly or wasteful to enjoy, spend time with, or care about beauty. It’s how I was designed- and trying to ignore it is almost as silly as trying to pretend I have straight hair. I just keep wondering how many beautiful things and moments I missed out on because I didn’t see “the point”. So lame.
Nurturing.
I’ve always been cut and dry- “if I’m not good, move on. If it’s not happening right away- forget it”. But in this season of my life, I switched to slowing down and tending to the things that needed tending. It can be something as small as a plant to nurse back to life, a skill (like cooking 😅) that needs to be practiced, or a secondborn that needs more attention than others 🥸. Nurturing: The practice of showing up again and again and again and doing the little things that allow someone or something else to thrive.
Allow Vs. Force.
I’m learning to allow what’s inside of me to bloom when it’s ready. Instead of demanding progress or perfection now- I can allow what’s ready to come forward to come (without the stress that it will be too late or wrong). I can allow my creativity, ideas, skills, etc to bloom on their own time- instead of forcing them on my timeline or on the world’s timeline- because I’m designed to bloom.
Fully Present.
How often does a person or place have our physical presence— but our mind is somewhere else? When I reflected, I realized I didn’t like how often I was in a place but not really IN IT.
I started saying “be where your feet are”.
Set the phone down, take some deep breaths, engage, and be available to the moment that you’re in and what it has to offer —- instead of looking to fill your mind with stuff to do, work to work on, or things to figure out. For me, sometimes this looked like talking to the cashier at the store, other times it looked like feeling the pain of a moment. The light, heavy, and everything in between— that is where your real life is happening. BE THERE.
Lastly-
Fulfilled Now, Not Later.
I started working before I was 16. And since then I’ve always had at least one job (often times 2). I took massive pride in being able to provide for myself and in earning my worth through WORK. It felt good and I was good at it. Except- a season came (ahem, motherhood) where what was best for my family was for me to stop working. IT HURT SO BAD. Suddenly no longer earning a check, “accomplishing”, or having black-and-white evidence of what I “did” at the end of the day— my self-worth plummeted. This season was a gentle stripping of armor that I had covered myself in.
“I’m worthy if______”
“I am worthy when____”
“I’m worthy because I _____”
It was a painful but healing season where God reminded me—
“Nope, you’re worthy”.
Period.
Related: How to Be Happy. 8 Simple Habits for Moms
Wrapping up my 2022 Reflection:
I had almost immediately forgotten about my “goal” to lean into my femininity.
It wasn’t until about mid-June that I realized that I was gently and lovingly being restored and reconnected to all the ways I’d tried to cut myself off from my feminine strength.
What a freakin gift.
Leaving 2022 I feel like I expanded mentally and spiritually. I am more at home embracing the parts of my design that I always assumed were just things that would slow me down.
Now it’s creeping up on 2023 and I am antsy to see what’s on The Program for the new year. I wonder where I’ll grow….
What did you learn in 2022? And what’s the goal for 2023?!
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