It’s taken me weeks to write this because I can’t find any words to explain the process of bringing Boone into the world.
It was perfect.
And terrifying.
And exciting.
And exhausting.
Boones birth story started the day Beckett was born. An unplanned c section and all the hardships that followed played a big role in shaping future pregnancies.
(You can read Becks birth story here, and surgery story here)
Because of that, I walked into this pregnancy with a much different mindset than I did with my first.
From the get go I knew my goal for this delivery was that it was a peaceful and joyful process for both Ben and I.
I decided that I would get an epidural early (I was hoping to go naturally with Beck) and while my goal was a VBAC, I worked hard on my mental game knowing that regardless of how the baby came (C- section or VBAC) I was capable.
I did try to tip the odds in my favor though. I found the doc who was supposedly “the best of the best” when it comes to VBACS. He laid out an entire plan of how we would prep my body for labor to increase chances of success, how to adjust if the baby wasn’t positioned properly, and when we would need to perform a c section.
I felt ready.
At 38 weeks I went in to have my membrane stripped (Have you ever heard a grosser term? And also, OWWW). I went once on Tuesday, and again on Thursday. I asked the doctor on Thursday what the next step was if this didn’t get things started.
He said, “Let’s induce you on Monday”.
I wasn’t expecting that. But I was excited. I spent the weekend cleaning and grocery shopping and writing and rewriting directions for Becks Grandmas and trying like crazy to convince my body to go into labor on it’s own.
Monday at 9 pm came and I had been sweating all. damn. day.
We checked in, I got hooked up for “a whif of Pitocin” and we waited.
We assumed that I would labor through the night and probably deliver sometime on Tuesday.
Wrong.
No one told me it could take D A Y S.
And because I had previously had a c-section they take induction super slow to make sure that your body and your baby respond to labor safely. So not only we’re we trying to convince my body to go into labor, we were doing it slowly.
The labor details:
I went in at 9pm Monday night. I was dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced.
I don’t know what it is about the way I grow babies but Boone was curled up in a weird position (just like his brother) and I felt all the labor in my back again. (#WHYTHO)
They gradually increased my Pitocin through the night and I labored standing up- because back labor is the devils work and you can’t lay down without crying. So I stood.
By 7 am I was a still a 2, and the doc said “oh she’s only 40% effaced”.
OK, SO WE’RE MOVING BACKWARDS? Cool.
By noon on Tuesday I had been standing for 15 hours. I tried the ball, I tried sitting, I tried leaning on Ben, I tried that weird position where you rock on all fours. Nothing helped. My pain was high enough that I WANTED all the drugs, but I tried to distract myself a little longer since I was only dilated to a 3.
By 3 PM contractions were the same (the f*cking worst) and I was on the edge of a mental breakdown. I had been awake for close to 48 hours and standing for almost 24. I wanted to sleep. I also wanted to not “be a baby and need medicine when I was only at a 3” (#dumbthingsyousaywhenyouretired). The nurse came in while I was crying and mid mental breakdown. She said- “OH, tears mean you waited too long, let’s go”.
In less than 10 minutes, they were placing my epidural. (PRAISE). I was slightly annoyed when a new resident doc walked in because she looked like she was 12 and had just given me a speech about how if this went horribly wrong- I would probably suffer paralyzation. #WorthIt
Once I was perfectly and wonderfully numb, I said thank you to Jesus- and started mumbling all kinds of weird stuff to Ben about how much I love him and how I was sorry and how I was never doing this again. I fell asleep and it was one of the best moments of my life.
At 9 pm they came in to check me- still a FREAKING 3. But they all seemed really excited and hopeful about the state of my cervix. They decided to try a balloon to help my body dilate and said that in the morning they would break my water.
At 6 am my water broke and I was dilated to a 5, but mentally I was done.
The hardest part about all of this was not necessarily the waiting- (that was terrible, don’t get me wrong). It was waiting and not knowing if it would ultimately lead me into the operating room again.
With each shift change Ben and I became more and more discouraged. The new nurses didn’t seem to register that we had been there 3 days, so every time we asked “do you think we’ll have a baby today?” they laughed. They thought we were joking but we were actually pretty serious.
“Should we be gearing up for another 3 days or is there hope?” That’s what we needed to know.
The day shift doctors came in at 9am and brought the best news. I was finally dilated to a 9.5. I said ALL the swear words and started crying again. Finally.
*Sidenote, this is where having the RIGHT doctor was a game changer. Every few hours he came in to adjust my position and turn the baby to make sure when it was time to deliver, I could. And when it was time for him to go home after a full 24 hours on call, he stayed. He got word that I was close and decided to sleep at the hospital until it was time for me to push. Can you say above and beyond?
By 11:30am it was time to push. Ben was holding my hand counting through each contraction.
I was falling asleep between pushes.
At 12:01pm Boone Maverick Reece was born and it was one of the most magical experiences of my life. They laid him on my chest (the part I missed most with Beck) and we all cried.
That night, laying in bed with Boone on my chest, Ben by my side, and Beck in my heart, I finally exhale.
This is the peace. This is the joy. This is exactly what I prayed for.
These feelings always show up differently than I expect. But with their arrival come the sweetest memories;
Ben’s strong voice counting down each contraction,
Boones perfect cry after his first breath,
My exhale as I crossed the finish line,
Bens glassy eyes…
Each memory saved for eternity in my heart.
Welcome to the world baby boy, Boone.
We can’t wait to make a lifetime of memories with you.
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