I Spy with my BIG, FAT eye…. the Emergency Room.

4 min read

Chocolate Costco cake could have saved my face. For your own safety, I suggest you grab yourself a slice and listen up..

Updated Feb 2021

I had just moved to new town where I could count the number of people I knew on one hand.

I was 12 weeks pregnant. Exhausted. Nauseous. And all alone while Benny worked one of his first 24 hour shifts as a Firefighter…

On this particular morning, January 15th, I was feeling ok.

I decided to try a short workout with my class at the gym and promised myself I wouldn’t push too hard.

And I didn’t.
I swear I didn’t.

After work I headed to our temporary home.
I had about a 20 minute drive to get there and ALL  I could think about was that really big and life changing chocolate cake from Costco.

You know the one…
Perfect Chocolate frosting.
Not so much you can’t eat a huge piece, but not too little where it feels more like a fancy muffin.
It’s sticker reads 17lbs. And it’s price tag usually says about the same.

(As you can see from my extensive knowledge- it’s my favorite cake.
I digress)

Anyways, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

But I was also aware I was pregnant and people had warned me about obnoxious cravings and the “Eating for two” mentality that would be sure to set me up for failure.

So I compromised.

I went to Fred Meyer and bought everything I thought I would be able to stomach. I spent a solid 10 minutes wandering the bakery trying to ignore the Costco cake image that was burned into my brain.

I settled on a donut and left. I took one bite in the car and started crying. Because pregnancy. But also- because it’s not what I wanted.

I got to the house, ate a bowl of cereal (Ya’ll Baby Beck was PICKY), and then told myself I would feel better after a nap.

So I napped…
and napped…
and napped.

When I woke up I felt guilty for doing NOTHING while Ben was out saving the world- I figured the least I could do is shower.

So I took a niiiiice hot shower.
After my shower I didn’t feel too good… I wrapped up in a towel…..

And woke up on the floor.

I had passed out and smacked my face on the tile floor.
Or the toilet… 
Or maybe it was the bathtub?

I’m not sure.. I was busy being unconscious when it happened.

I woke up confused and totally out of it.

I was laying naked on the bathroom floor, in a house with no one in it, confused and cold.

What the heck happened?

I finally pulled myself up to the counter and saw the damage. A nice big slice under my eye and lots of blood dripping down my face.

So I did what any normal grown up would do… I texted a bloody picture to Ben and I called my mom.

From 300 miles away Mom was only able to keep me kind of calm.

She stayed on the phone while I cried on the bathroom floor.

I had never passed out before.. so naturally I thought I was dying.

I mumbled something about how the shower was a waste and how my hair would be totally ruined (#DeathBedThoughts) and she was kind and pretended like that was somehow important.

It took FOREVER. Or maybe it just felt like forever- but finally Ben saw his phone and made a mad dash for the house.

Only 6 hours in the emergency room and 5 stitches later, I learned that pregnancy messes with your blood sugar. And because I had worked out and not eaten enough, then took a hot shower, mine was practically non existent.

I learned a lot that day. But my 3 biggest takeaways were this:

1. This baby better be sooooooooo freakin good.
   
2. When your body is craving chocolate cake, LISTEN. If you don’t there’s a good chance you could almost die like me.
   
3. Spend the 16 dollars. It’s WAY cheaper than the bill the hospital sends you.

So that’s the tale of how Costco cake could have saved my face.
Had I just listened to my body, my blood sugar would have been fine and I would be living my life as a scar free human. 

But I guess you win some and you lose some.
I may have lost this one… but I think technically I win.

Why?

Because thanks to this story, I never have to justify buying a cake ever again- it’s always for safety reasons.

Update: Feb 2021:

The good news is that the baby really is “soooo freaking good” just as I suspected.

While we’ll never know the cause for sure, at some point during pregnancy my amniotic band ruptured. (My gut thinks it was when I fell since I experienced no physical trauma at any other point) This causes little hair like bands to float around the baby. They can be harmless in some cases and in others they cause amputation in the womb and can even be fatal.

Beckett was born with bands wrapped around his fingers and a cleft lip and pallete- (which is also linked to amniotic band syndrome). You can read about his birth story here. And his first surgery (so far he’s had 3!) here.

Now a days, we are awaiting the arrival of Becks brother. He should be here in March. And every time I shower Ben yells “BE CAREFUL!” and it makes me smile. But I don’t have to worry about passing out again- I learned to keep chocolate cake close by- for safety reasons- obviously.

Want endless motivation, workout ideas, and high-quality humor?
Make sure to Follow Along on Pinterest! And stay up to date with the daily adventures of ‘me and the boys’ right here!